Not the lead line, but the end of my time with Daisy. I had posted Daisy for sale on Craig's List, but for some time there were no takers. Then I dropped the price and someone was interested.
Daisy had been inadvertently rewarded for treating people like other horses, in that she had learned that if she established her dominant position with a human, using the same horse tactics that she would use to get to the top of the pecking order in a herd (rearing and wheeling, making ugly faces and kicking), that the human would turn her back out to pasture and leave her alone. The food kept coming, so she was content.
From day one with Daisy, I used treats to reward her. Now, some of you will tsk, tsk at that. And with most horses, it might not work too well. But with an accomplished, aggressively dominant horse, you must give them a reason to WANT to do your bidding. If they are unhappy with you all the time, and are always seeking that golden opportunity to squish you, believe me, they will find it eventually!
I believe that Daisy came to be fond of me, and to feel that I treated her fairly. Horses have a very strong need to feel they are being treated fairly. Their creed is simple and it is rare to see one horse treat another with excessive and unnecessary force. It is important that humans, who are so often guilty of using more force than is necessary, pull in their horns a bit.
I've seen folks take hold of a lead rope and jerk the horse horribly because the horse didn't back up when they commanded it to do so. Horses are not "word oriented." They orient to body positions. And if they back up when asked to do so, they are handing the "top dog" position to the handler. Some horses are understandably reluctant to give up their status.
I've also seen some folks slap or hit a horse because it didn't IMMEDIATELY jump to do their bidding. Patience. Humans aren't always instant, (unless, of course, they are going through basic training) and horses aren't either, until they have had much practice.
I worked to get inside this complex horse's head and think that I did so. My hands closed slowly and opened quickly. I would ask and wait for Daisy to process the information and then move her body in the indicated direction. Once she complied, she got a small treat.
Since food meant more to Daisy than just about anything else, it was the obvious choice. When all is said and done, a horse works for a human because they choose to. Either they are fearful of the consequences if they not, and do not feel sufficiently confident and accomplished to "deal" with the human, or they genuinely desire to please the human.
So often we ask things of our horses that they would never have any interest in doing out in a pasture on their own! Flex the head. Practice figure 8's with lead changes. Do spin after spin after spin. Walk over and under strange things, etc.
Daisy certainly did not have to run to the pasture gate to meet me, and she didn't have to whinny repeatedly, happy to see me each day. I took it as a compliment that she did so. When I was working with her, my "excited squirrel" chittering at her was simply human chivying. She did not have to cease whatever she was doing to elicit that response from me. She always knew that I was soft and squishy and weaker than she was. I took it as a compliment that my chittering at her caused her to do my bidding and stop whatever it was that had caused me to emit such noises (grin).
I felt a bond and a friendship with her. However, that bond did not extend to giving me exclusive and total confidence and control over keeping her safe.
I came to realize that the only behavior modification training method which seemed to work well with her was clicker training, a la Alexandra Kurland's methods. Three weeks into the daily sessions, Daisy would lower her head to the ground and keep it there until I clicked. She delighted in the clicker sessions and was wholeheartedly enthusiastic over them. But it was about as slow as watching grass grow! The last day I owned her, I decided to work exclusively on "happy faces." She was clicked and rewarded only for her head down and ears forward. Just as it is very difficult to feel cheerful if you slump your shoulders and put a scowl on your face, it is hard for a horse to be grumpy when their ears are forward and their head is down.
To progress from those two basic foundation steps to ever riding this mare would probably take a couple of years. Even being able to lead Daisy from her pasture to the barn (a good quarter of a mile away) would either take a stud chain and concentration on my part, or much more work with Daisy. I just wasn't up for the work!
Someone was interested in Daisy. I had them pick me up and drive me out to see her because I wanted them to know that they were getting the unvarnished, real Daisy. I didn't want to work with her before they came to see her. With a mare like her, the prospective buyer deserves to know what they are getting into!
I had already told the husband all about Daisy. Everything! Her beauty and the very low price must have lured them out. I was very honest with the wife, whose horse it would be. They repeatedly assured me that the wife knew all about horses, had done a great deal with them in the past, was very experienced, and had family who broke young horses and did a lot of trail riding.
I feel that the couple did not listen to what I had to say, or if they did, they didn't want to believe it of the horse. They were greedy and wanted that big, beautiful mare at the dirt cheap price. I haltered Daisy, getting the assistance of the wife, as one of my arms was still in the sling from the broken bone. Then I walked out of the pasture.
The wife worked with Daisy for nearly an hour. I never went into the pasture again. I thought that the woman was not very knowledgeable, snapping her fingers at the horse, and jerking the lead rope, but my quiet suggestions were not taken, so I stopped offering them.
The next day the wife called and said she wanted to buy the horse. Then the husband stepped in and we had a "good cop/bad cop" thing going. I was offered less than the asking price for mare, hay and 20 days board. They played hardball, saying take it or leave it. I ended up taking it, but the freebies left a bad taste in my mouth. I won't sell them anything again.
I felt somewhat badly for Daisy, however she is a big girl who has been taking care of herself for a long time now. The woman would be well advised to treat this horse with respect and fairness. If she does not, sooner or later, Daisy will kick her into next Tuesday. Daisy is a horse who will always exercise her opinions. No amount of training will ever change her personality much, short of literally breaking her spirit. Some horses are born like this. And you can read it in their faces!
I wish I'd given the facial characteristics more weight when looking at Daisy initially! You can really take some of the characteristics to the bank with you, if you will weigh the good and bad. This mare's personality is written all over her face! The inflexibility, stubbornness, determination, short fuse and ease with which she becomes frustrated is all right there in her facial features.
Today the soft cast came off of my arm and I can't wait to take a shower without the garbage bag on my arm this evening! I have thought often of Daisy and felt badly for the shock she will go through with this new, demanding, drill sergeant-type owner. But Daisy knows a lot more than this woman does, despite her bravado. In the end, I believe that Daisy will once more be a pasture ornament. Especially if she can hold out until the fall rains arrive.
At age 64, it reminds me of that saying about "old age and wisdom will triumph over youth and inexperience every time." The buyers thought I was just some foolish old lady, who didn't know spit from Shinola and who had been too easy going on Daisy. I believe that time and hindsight will eventually give them another view of things.
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